A flippant expose of the country and people who will host this year’s Paris 2024 Olympic Games. This week Senior Correspondent Mike Osborne gets tongue tied with the French language.
Worried you don’t speak French when you parachute into the Paris Olympics?
Fear not, there are thousands of French words that English speakers use every day. Croissant at a cafe anyone?
It’s all courtesy of an invading army from Normandy, led by a bastard Frenchman called William the Conqueror, who crossed the English Channel in 1066 to defeat the Anglo Saxons. Mon dieu!
After the Battle of Hastings and the Norman Conquest the version of French that the Normans spoke quickly bled into the language and life in England.
So, when in Paris for the Games you can expect to stay in a good hotel with a nice facade and lovely decor, eat in a fine restaurant or bistro where you’ll be seated by a snooty maitre’d who’ll offer you a menu listing a la carte dishes.
Maybe you’ll start with an aperitif and some hors d’oeuvre or canapés while being browbeaten by the sommelier into buying some overpriced Champagne instead of the Beaujolais.
For the entree you might order a Nicoise salad(e) with a vinaigrette dressing or mayonnaise, or perhaps even a bisque or fish soup(e), served with a baguette. Also consider some terrine or pate.
The waiter will wish you bon appetit when he brings you the chef’s special – an omelette with sautéed aubergine.
For dessert, order a crepe or soufflé , but make sure you also order a tarte or gateaux. As Marie Antoinette famously said: Let them eat cake!
It’s a must when in Paris after feasting on the crème de la creme of fantastique Olympic sport to go shopping at a boutique in an arcade on a cute boulevard.
If you don’t have the budget for haute couture maybe your credit card could handle something from the pret-a-porter rack.
A petite blouse, some lingerie, a bracelet or cravat, would be a great keepsake and provided you don’t buy a faux fur, you’ll look very chic and cut a fine silhouette.
If you get an invitation to a première classe Olympic occasion such as a soirée hosted by an entrepreneur, it may be de rigueur to RSVP (répondez s’il vous plaît).
Beware mixing with an avante garde crowd, trying to be a bon vivant and being blase about the bourgeois. And don’t make a faux pas and critique the nouveau riche.
If you have time between Olympic tournaments, you may have a rendezvous with a blond/blonde beau at a cinema where you will queue to see the premiere of a film noir movie starring a femme fatale having a ménage à trois while suffering a bout of deja vu.
It might be a cliche but it’s a very popular genre. Alternatively if you come to an impasse over which movie to see, you might find yourself en route to the ballet or an art nouveau gallery.
If you’re planning a risqué liaison make sure you wear some eau de toilette or cologne or perhaps pop a bouquet of pot pourri in your pocket to improve your aroma.
When it’s time to head home from the Games the Parisians will wish you bon voyage. But don’t forget to buy a souvenir at the airport so your Olympic experience doesn’t become a mirage.
Voila, or there you are, it might seem bizarre but you now have carte blanche to chew through a word salad of French words.
If you approach the French language with courage you’ll have no regrets and your Paris debut will be nothing short of par excellence.
Absolument!
NOTE – This is the latest in a weekly series of “Frivolous facts about France for Olympic bon vivants”. You can read other Frivolous Facts stories by clicking on these topics: Art, Architecture, Sportscars.
Michael Osborne has been a journalist for more than four decades including 35 years with the national news agency Australian Associated Press, rising from junior reporter to Editor.
He was AAP Editor for 11 years and served four years as Head of Sport and Racing. He was also posted to London and Beijing as AAP’s Bureau Chief and Foreign Correspondent.
He has worked at six Olympics and five Commonwealth Games, covered tennis grand slams, golf majors, international cricket, rugby world cups and numerous sporting world championships. He also co-ordinated and managed AAP’s teams and coverage at three Olympic Games in Athens 2004, Beijing 2008 and London 2012.
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